Herd Mentality
by darkmousey
Summary: Souls, she mused, are like horses. Kikyou-centric drabble, 593 words.


Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and its respective production companies.

Summary: Souls, she mused, were like horses. Drabble, 593 words.

_**Herd Mentality**_

All day she had felt the tugging, and though she continued in the opposite direction (having no desire to be guided by an outside—or rather, inside—force) she knew that soon she would be compelled to turn and follow the insistence of that one, _partial_ soul.

Kikyou cursed that witch for getting her into this mess. If only she had a complete soul…

Not an hour later, she stopped to rest, knowing that if she were to go much further, the pain would come, as it had many times before; the pain that struck not at her physical body, but rather at her spirit. As it was, she already had to labor just to take another step.

_Souls_, she mused, _are like horses_. They don't want to be separated from the herd. And once separated, they would try to return to the herd, return to the place they knew to be safe.

This piece of her reincarnation's soul was proving to be almost more trouble than it was worth. She had known for quite some time that this fragment did not belong to her. As souls are reincarnated, they change, and from what she could understand from the partial soul that allowed her to exist, it may have once been hers, but it had changed dramatically. It no longer wanted to remain in her body.

No, it wanted to rejoin the rest of the soul, within her reincarnation. And it was very insistent. Though it wouldn't be able to escape on its own—she would have to be killed for that to happen.

But she refused to die. _Not yet._ There was far too much left for her to do.

From her relaxed position on the side of the road, she looked up to the sky. There was enough daylight to travel for a while yet. It was enough time to find a different road to travel by, perhaps come across other villages in need of the aid she, as a miko, could give. And while she enjoyed this part of the journey, seeing the happiness in the villagers' faces as this illness was cured or that destructive youkai was destroyed, she dreaded what she knew would be at the end.

_Inuyasha_. He always came to her when he saw her shinidamachuu. He would see her, and try to apologize, and say he still loved her, but that he also loves her reincarnation, and begging for more time, and saying he would avenge her…And she would sit there, with nothing to say, not knowing what to say, but also not wanting to tell him the truth: that the only reason she returned is because this fragment of soul, which used to be her soul, wanted to be whole again—

And eventually she would order him away, wondering if it all could have been different without Naraku, without the Shikon. Then, shortly after, the soul calmed by the close proximity with its larger self, she would leave to travel alone, until the pain forced her to once again return.

And though she knew this would be the outcome, she didn't have the heart to deny this soul this one boon.

She was grateful, though_,_ she thought as she stood, that since those first times, her reincarnation—Kagome—had not come so close to her, had not followed Inuyasha, because at those times, the pain of the soul fragment trying to escape…the intensity…

With that thought, she could not help but wonder, did her reincarnation cease to interrupt the former loves because she trusted Inuyasha, or because she too could feel her soul's sadness, and the necessity of Kikyou's visits?

* * *

Note: As someone who rides horses, this analogy just seemed appropriate to me. The idea popped into my head while I was reading a fic wherein Kikyou dies and the piece of Kagome's soul that keeps her alive, of course, goes back into Kagome. This doesn't feel perfect to me, but after working on it for a couple days, I think it's fairly good at least.

For those of you reading my other fics, I've started noting their progress in my profile. If you have any questions, feel free to message me.


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